The National Employment Security Commission of Iraq and the EEOC of Iraq have just posted a vacancy in the office of Mr. Saddam Hussein (again?). If you are a qualified defense attorney and are willing to relocate the salary is negotiable. The benefits are also negotiable and are based on one's religious beliefs. We suggest that if you are interested in applying for this important and promising position you bring a resume to 1322 al-imam, Baghdad, Iraq, on or before the date of the next assa...strike that, before next, lets say, Thursday at 3ish in the morning (the lines are shorter at that time of the night). Remember, dress to impress. If anyone shows up we will be impressed. This position is a temporary position. The applicant who fills this position will have the honor of being only the fourth attorney (at this writing) to hold it.
P.S. If you prefer you can email your resume and application along with a picture (optional). We would like to have a photograph of you in an upright position with both eyes open, just for the announcement in the paper of your new position, of course.